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Father Bob   | Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-27-2000 |
| O.K., so I'm not Father Bob, I'm Kitty, but I don't think he'll mind me continuing this ever popular thread (you can bless me later, Father). Keep those questions comin', people! | ||
| Seymour | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-28-2000 |
| I have a very serious body odor problem. I do not usually stink, but when surprises occur a very strong aroma arises. What can I do? | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-28-2000 |
| Seymour: I suspect you have the malady called "blow-out". You might try diapers. Be sure to wear baggy pants and carry a can of scent with you. My old friend, Father Electric Jim has this very problem. | ||
| Homer Sexual | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-28-2000 |
| Bob, What are your views on homosexuality? Is any love good love? Homer. | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-28-2000 |
| Homer? Your name suggests unhealthy sexual practices. The Good Book tells us to begat. So my advice to you is to begat as much as possible and forget. Homography is not evil. Pathology is questionable. Bless you Kitty, my child. | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-28-2000 |
| Pathology tells us very much about deaths that are out of the ordinary, have you ever performed last rites? | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-29-2000 |
| I have personally performed many pathological rights, most up by the Brimson area. Mitch Ekstrom has had me bless his new Reunion dress. Wilbur Oling has had me cleanse his new velvet panty hose (also for the Reunion). Erwin has had me cleanse him. Alas, it is a very trying time for the Church! | ||
| Pope John | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-29-2000 |
| Can any of you children please tell me more of Father Bob? I seem to have heard of him/her, but do not remember much. Is Father Bob frocked? Does he carry a sidearm? Does Father Bob have a part-time job tending bar at the Landing? Does Kitty know Father Bob? And what does Father Bob eat for lunch? | ||
| Al Kaholic | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-29-2000 |
| Father Bob - My wife is constantly nagging because I have a couple of cold ones. It's gotten so bad I can't even have a couple beers while watching the ballgame at home without her blowing a gasket. I have thought this over carefully and feel there are 3 options: 1) Quit drinking. 2) Be more dishonest about it. Sneak into the garage for a quick bump, etc. 3) Find a new wife who will tolerate this behavior. I can tell you right now that option #1 is not going to happen. Your thoughts?? Thanks, Al K. | ||
| Postman | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-30-2000 |
| Al, are you sure we are not married to the same gal?.....sounds alot like the postman's house. | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 04-30-2000 |
| Al + Postman: You might try placing the beer in the Holy Wine bottle or perhaps in you bran flakes. Another good trick is to place a piece of white tape across the beer label and write "cough syrup" on the tape. You might try some strange brand of beer (Blatz) that the little woman doesn't recognize. None of this would work with the good lady Kitty. Tell the wife that the Pope used to make beer at the Vatican garage! | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-06-2000 |
| Padre, no entries in May, are people becoming suspect of your counseling and advice? | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-06-2000 |
| Snzzzzzz. | ||
| Ringo | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-06-2000 |
| Father Bob please help me. I am the walrus and I am the eggman seem like contradictory statements to me. Are they? What do you think? And which one am I? Ringo | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-07-2000 |
| Ringo, my lovely young thing. You must realize that walrus, eggman and French Toast are but symbols of things much larger. Now if you have a virus, you must worry mightily, eat pickles, and visit Wilbur for a great deal. | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-07-2000 |
| Ringo, do you have an extra 'White' album? My original one got ruined! | ||
| Electric Jim | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-07-2000 |
| Extra white album?, hell, Ringo doesn't even have an extra pair of white bloomers! | ||
| ZZZZZZZ | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-14-2000 |
| ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! | ||
| Webman | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-23-2000 |
| This is really sad. | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-24-2000 |
| Father is in depression. Father is in tears. What has become of the human race? I have heard that many posters were up at Brimson, raising Cain. | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-24-2000 |
| Father Bob, I need you to do a favor for me. Are you up to the challenge? It's not the most ethical, and you may feel a conflict of interest, but I need your help. Will you hlep me? | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-25-2000 |
| Father will hlep you Kitty in any way possible. I devote my being to hleping, whatever your color, your persuasion, your longing. | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-25-2000 |
| Thanks, Father, but I had a change of heart. It wasn't the most scrupulous thing I was going to ask you to do, however, I guess I could let you be the judge of that. If you're still interested, e-mail me @ grnleaf@angelfire.com | ||
| Drifter | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-26-2000 |
| I sent an e-mail to Kitty and got the address of Gloria Huchta!!! There must have been a short circuit in the ether. | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-28-2000 |
| Oh Drifter, she may not be as knowledgible as Kitty, but give her a try anyway! | ||
| J. Ventura | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-28-2000 |
| Only weak-minded people enter this Forum and ask this Father Bob bozo for advice. How pathetic. JV | ||
| Ringo | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-28-2000 |
| Jesse, Only weak-minded people wear feather boas and really puky looking spandex pants. Maybe you are the eggman. Ringo. | ||
| Richard Olson, Jr. | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-29-2000 |
| I resent criticism of the good Father Bob. I will have you know that Father Bob married my wife and I in 1989. My wife was the former Mary Ann Winskowski of Spago, Minnesota. Father may have his off days, but sometimes he is on, too. Thank you. Richard Olson, Jr. | ||
| John Grover | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-29-2000 |
| What is Father Bob on, anyway? I am a trained drug store clerk, so I certainly know the signs of serious mental illness. These signs are present in Father Bob for sure. I would suggest that the Father check himself into a facility as soon as possible. | ||
| Ivan | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-29-2000 |
| I know a John Grover from the old days. He was the guy who hid in the lavatory whenever Janine Stockton was in the hall. He was the guy who could be found in the projection booth (projecting) at most any hour of the day. He was the guy who dropped hockey to go out for the one-act play. A trained drug clerk? Ha!!!! | ||
| Asher Burlingame | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-30-2000 |
| My father told me that there used to be an old priest serving the Two Inlets church named Father Bob. He was about 75 years old in 1952. Could this be the same Father? Maybe this is Son Bob of Father Bob. Did Father have a Brother? Do any of you know where I can get some 8 track tapes? I would pay almost anything. | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-30-2000 |
| Hey, Father Bob is the man, he only tells the truth, I guess for some it is called tough love!He has is own place in Nebraska for troubled kids....Oh,wait...that's Father Flanigan, never mind! Father Bob serves a small parish in Toimi, doing good work none the less! | ||
| Mitch Ekstrom | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-31-2000 |
| I ran into Father Bob while working in the sewer on 7th Avenue. What a surprise! The good Father was on the trail of an errant Sunday School kid. | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 05-31-2000 |
| Hey, I've got a bunch of old 8-tracks in the basement! Just how much are you willing to pay, Mr. Burlingame? | ||
| Asher Burlingame | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-01-2000 |
| Hi Kitty. Do I know you? I used to know a Kitty from Ponsford, MN. Any connection? Anyway, I am willing to pay top dollar for ANY 8 track tape you have. What do you have available? Your old friend, Asher. | ||
| Electric James | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-02-2000 |
| I make my own 8 track tapes as I go. I have a lot of talent, so it is very easy. I could even make 16 track tapes if I wanted. Hi out there to all my fans. | ||
| Betty | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-03-2000 |
| Father Bob! Help me please. My hubby caught me with another man last night, and he is mad at me. This is not the first time that I have been caught, so what is the big deal? A little fooling around is not so bad. Haven't you fooled around once in a while Father? | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-03-2000 |
| Dear Betty. What is your whole name? Please enter your telephone number. I think that I can connect you with another errant lady. Perhaps the two of you could double date. That should make it better for your hubby. Also you hubby might try calling 834-8711 and ask for Gloria. | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-03-2000 |
| Father, don't you have some sermons to prepare for or something??!! | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-04-2000 |
| I have serious problems with my flock. Kitty, you will not believe some of the requests that I receive! The folks are restless. We must all calm down and become our better selves. Send contributions. Anything over $100 would be nice. Betty has been sinful and must repent. 1000 Rosies and a bottle of Rolling Rock and all should be better. Kitty for President. | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-04-2000 |
| Father Bob, do you have a drug problem? I'm having a hard time understanding your meanings! | ||
| Sheriff Edwin Doppler | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-05-2000 |
| Did I hear that there is evidence that Father Bob is under the influence of drugs? If so, the good father will be run out of this county forthwith. Please forward all evidence to the county jailhouse immediately. Withholding evidence is a crime in itself punishable by a $4000 fine and 20 years in jail. Have a nice day. | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-06-2000 |
| Gosh, I wish the I.P.'s were still visible, 'cause I'd be willing to bet the 'Sheriff' is really Father Bob, trying to scare me! Face it, Father, you've got it bad for me, don't you? You've wanted me for months!! Fess up! | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-06-2000 |
| ....I have.... | ||
| webman | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-06-2000 |
| This is all making me see red...... | ||
| Erwin Anderson | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-07-2000 |
| Could it be true, That Kitty's real name is Sue? | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-07-2000 |
| Kitty is really Sue??? But how did Erwin know this?? There are many Sues in this world. Sweet Sue. Sue the sweeper. Sue the laundry lady. Which might it be? I really doubt that Kitty is named Sue, for Kitty is much too intelligent. | ||
| Sheriff Edwin Doppler | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-07-2000 |
| Checking my wanted files, I find that a Kitty Sue Branheimer is wanted for bank theft, prevarication, perversion, and theft from the collection plate at the Knife River parsonage. Please forward all information. | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-07-2000 |
| Webby, nothing like new colors to stir the naughty bits! | ||
| Webman | Re: Ask Father Bob - the Sequel | 06-07-2000 |
| That was the idea. Stir the naughties. Since this is entry #50, someone will have to start a new topic. What will it be??? | ||
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