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A Fan   | Ask Father Bob | 04-04-2000 |
| Might we begin a "Ask Father Bob" column? I will begin. My child has a terrible French teacher. What can be done? Message: 335422 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-04-2000 |
| French is one of our "romantic languages" and cannot be trashed. Therefore it helps for one to whisper sacred blue under one's breath and carry on with life. You could place a French pastry on the teacher's seat, however. Message: 371222 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Wilbur Oling | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-05-2000 |
| I have a terrible itch. It is in a very embarrassing place. When I am selling cars, people seem to look funny at me when I am itching my scratch. What should I do? Message: 44214 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-05-2000 |
| First of all, Wilbur, are you male or female? This could make all the difference. You could, or course, see a counselor (Lyle Northey is available) or visit the veternarian clinic to test for fleas. If all else fails, itch your scratch in private (use the trunk of the car you are selling). Do not forget to attend Sunday School. Message: 9314 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Joe Sega | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-05-2000 |
| Father, Is Hal Smith's health spa still open? It was a long drive there but, I had many compliments on my physique over the years! Black Joe Message: 562517 IP: 152.163.205.53 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-05-2000 |
| Joe, you DID have a wonderful, if strange, body. Hal Smith has changed his name to Toivo TwoFeathers and moved the entire operation to Finland, MN. We have not seen you in Church lately, Joe. Message: 274419 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Confused | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-05-2000 |
| Father Bob, a guy has re-entered my life after a 9 month hiatus. I'm feeling a bit used by this. Should we just be friends, or should I scrap the whole relationship? Message: 311821 IP: 208.16.240.130 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Postman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-05-2000 |
| A Message: 541921 IP: 152.163.194.191 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Postman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-05-2000 |
| Piss on "Confused", Padre am I going to the HOT HOUSE? Postman Message: 564921 IP: 152.163.194.191 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-06-2000 |
| Confused, you sound confused. Do you love your former lover? Why were you apart for 9 months? You must have patience and strength. Eat Wheaties and do pushups. Message: 15319 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-06-2000 |
| My dear Postman. I suspect that you gave up beer for Lent. True? I suspect that you drank your share of beer during Lent. True? If I were you I would order an asbestos box. Message: 172819 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Postman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-06-2000 |
| I know nothing of beer and asbestos boxes! Message: 511720 IP: 152.163.197.78 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Postman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-06-2000 |
| Father, I believe the Roman Catholic Church allows certain things for medicinal purposes..."Grandpa's" cough medicine was used a few times, I think you should brush up on your Cannon Law! Message: 212021 IP: 205.188.198.29 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-07-2000 |
| Postman: A little of the house wine never hurt an altar boy. But, sneaking beer during Lent is sinful! You should be ashamed, say 34 Rosies, and hope for the best. (The beer you drink is of very poor brewage). Message: 31519 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Postman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-09-2000 |
| You are probably right Father, but when the alter boys get together, well sometimes you have to throw caution to the wind! Message: 44326 IP: 205.188.192.28 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Pope Ivan | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-09-2000 |
| Such nonsense! No beer means no beer. And altar boys drinking the house wine? It would never happen because the Good Father would have it hidden for future use. Postman sounds devious and dangerous. I have my own problem: someone stole my 8 track tapes. They are of patriotic songs and religious songs. What should I do? Message: 132517 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-09-2000 |
| Mr Pope: You might try motoring about the neighborhood, looking in each window as you pass. Advertise in the local paper. Ask Kitty (if she is back from Hibbing with Erwin). She is one smart guy! Message: 16917 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-09-2000 |
| Father Bob, I have a serious problem: everyone thinks I'm a guy, no matter what I say. They just can't get it through their thick, dull heads that I'm a female!! This is very disturbing, because not only am I a woman, I'm also blond and like to shop. Shouldn't that be enough proof? Message: 595920 IP: 208.16.240.162 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Jellyroll | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-10-2000 |
| I am blond and like to shop too. Does that mean I am really a girl? Message: 392512 IP: 152.163.195.196 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-10-2000 |
| This is getting very confusing for old Father Bob. The last two posts seem to indicate that Kitty and Jellyroll are one and the same. Kitty maintains that he is a girl and Jellyroll does not seem to know. Jellyroll has only 7 strands of hair, so claiming blondness is a stretch. Kitty has been seen cavorting with Erwin, and Erwin likes boys. I would counsel Kitty, Erwin, and Jellyroll to schedule a meeting and privately discuss this enormous problem. Message: 124314 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| H. Bishop | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-10-2000 |
| My Mother told me that Father Bob might be a girl! At least she saw Father Bob at the hairdresser, receiving some needed attention. Does anyone know anything about this? Hugh!!! Where've you been?? We've missed you (at least I've missed you!!). Message: 165314 IP: 209Re: Ask Father Bob Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-11-2000 |
| Webman, am I in big trouble?? It was an accident, REALLY!!!! Or are you going to ban me from the forum for good?? Message: 554514 IP: 208.16.240.145 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| webman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-11-2000 |
| Dear Kitty, I have no idea what you are talking about. If you have a confession, you can let me know (Sorry Father Bob, I know you are the confession expert around here). But Kitty, how did you manage to reply on Hugh's rectangle? Message: 311319 IP: 152.163.197.179 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Postman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-11-2000 |
| Things are getting wierd here! and to think I was nervous for sneaking a snort! Padre help us help ourselves!!!!! Message: 33321 IP: 205.188.192.54 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| webman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-11-2000 |
| Amen Message: 8922 IP: 152.163.206.183 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Lurch | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-12-2000 |
| Kitty, or is it Hugh, or is it Father Bob, or Ivan, or Skipper, or Drifter? I think they are all one and the same. Message: 174121 IP: 63.225.130.62 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-12-2000 |
| Webman, I was referring to the post I made, that got inadvertantly put on Hughs post. I thought maybe that was a breech in posting etiquette. But I guess not, and I can breath a sigh of relief. Message: 154822 IP: 208.16.240.130 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-12-2000 |
| Webman, I have NO clue as to how I did that!! I've got some talent, eh? And Lurch, Father Bob is the one with multiple posting personalities!!!! Hey, that sounds like a new syndrom: MPP Sometimes I make myself laugh (yah, especially after a bottle of Riunite!!) Message: 20922 IP: 208.16.240.130 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-14-2000 |
| Kitty, I always figured you for whiskey straight up, funny the things that you wonder about, oh well, wine is fine! Message: 23212 IP: 205.188.195.36 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-14-2000 |
| Kitty, I always figured you for whiskey straight up, funny the things that you wonder about, oh well, wine is fine! Message: 231612 IP: 205.188.195.36 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-14-2000 |
| I did not put that message twice because I was infatuated with my writing ability, the first time I tried to submit it said cancelled, Webby, get your people on that blip! Message: 272212 IP: 205.188.195.36 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| webman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-14-2000 |
| I'll put them on it. Message: 541215 IP: 152.163.197.192 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| webman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-14-2000 |
| I'll put them on it. Message: 544615 IP: 152.163.197.192 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| webman | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-14-2000 |
| No, really. Sometimes if you are quick on the keys, the advertising banner at the top of the page will give you a "action cancelled" message. It is kind of like hitting the "stop loading" button on your browswer. It does that to me all the time, but the messages always post, always post, always post, always post. It is pointless to resist. Luke, I am your father. Love, Darth. Message: 582415 IP: 152.163.197.192 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-16-2000 |
| Webman! I should have known you were a Star Wars fan!!! Me to, and may the force be with you! Message: 46014 IP: 208.16.240.253 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-19-2000 |
| I am not Jellyroll, Kitty, Erwin, Lurch, Lunch, Ivan, Drifter, or any other strange person. I am Father Bob from the Chapel By The Moonlight. Message: 505815 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-20-2000 |
| And all along I thought you were from the Church of the Effervescent Pine Tree. Message: 29306 IP: 208.16.240.142 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-20-2000 |
| Father, A few more days and the Lenten season is over, I believe my writing will become more creative then, you know what I mean? Message: 461719 IP: 152.163.195.179 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-21-2000 |
| Skippy: You will probably sober up as the Lenten Season ebbs. Your writing and your thoughts should be much clearer then. Do you have any relationship with Skipper Peanutbutter? Message: 565114 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Erwin | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-22-2000 |
| Father: I dated Kitty last evening. We enjoyed a wonderful dinner at the Earthworm Dining Emporium. We then went dancing at the Dixie Ballroom. My problem seems to be that Kitty drinks way too much. She can become very embarassing and crass. What should I do? Message: 573111 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-22-2000 |
| Erwin, you sound like a very caring and intelligent individual. You must talk to Kitty as a brother would to a sister. You must become her example of the good life. You must prey upon her as a brother would to a sister. The Living Rock Fellowship might be your answer. Bless you my children. Message: 2712 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Skipper | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-22-2000 |
| Only as a hemarroidal cream, very soothing,.....did Kitty and Erwin have the Lenten fish fry? Message: 384917 IP: 152.163.205.35 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Erwin | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-23-2000 |
| Kitty ordered the straight shot special-one bran flake and a quart of bourbon. I ordered the beef ribs with beans and pickled egg. Very tasty. Dessert was fabulous-wedding cake crumble. The food in Two Harbors is something else. Message: 261410 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Kitty | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-24-2000 |
| Get it right, eh, Erwin...it was straight up Yukon, not that gross bourbon. I thought you liked it when I get loaded, embarrass you and get crass? Message: 64610 IP: 208.16.240.139 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-24-2000 |
| Kitty, my child! A person in the state of crass can be delightful and adoring. Erwin seeks a mother figure. You seem to be perfect. Crass or not, try being his mother. Message: 255520 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Cruiser | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-24-2000 |
| My father tells me I never had a mother. He says I was "just there" one day. I feel that I am only a half person. Could father be covering something up? Could he be inadequate? Message: 294720 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-24-2000 |
| Your father might not be your father. I have heard of children with no parents at all. I would suggest that you search his undershorts drawer for evidence. Whatever, hold your head high and move forward. Message: 335020 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| I.M. Goofy | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-26-2000 |
| I don't know about searching undershorts because I don't wear any. I also do not have any parents. I was "created" by Walt Disney. Father Bob, am I a sinner? Do I need to do Rosa Lee or say some Hello Marys? Message: 394521 IP: 205.188.200.155 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-27-2000 |
| Mr Goofy: I would suggest you do 100 Friendly Marys. Walt Disney was related to both Walt Gergen of the old Dixie and Walt Aldinger of the old "Little Store of Horrors" up Brimson way. By the way, did you know Snow White? Message: 255910 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| I.M. Goofy | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-27-2000 |
| I don't usually get too explicit about my exploits, but yes, I have "known" Snow White. It was fun, but those short little guys kept showing up. I think Snow White "knew" them too. I have often wondered about my true roots, your reply about the Walts answers some questions for me. Namely, why I feel like I should be drunk and subservient to an immense woman in a checkered dress and an apron. Message: 32414 IP: 205.188.200.44 Thread: 54332224 | ||
| Father Bob | Re: Ask Father Bob | 04-27-2000 |
| Friendly Mary was indeed immense and also ponderous. In my business, the name Mary brings happiness and joy. Friendly Mary also brought happiness and joy. Walt Aldinger is now a member of the United Church so all is not lost! Message: 343219 IP: 209.240.224.226 Thread: 54332224 | ||
